There’s a man
in this world
with a winsome smile
stunningly adorable eyes
a poet’s heart
a musician’s hands
and a sensuously intelligent mind.
He enchants my soul
and quickens my pulse.
And all I want to do is
stroke his imagination
surrender to his passion
taste his ecstasy
and lay claim to his heart.
____
k.c. 1.13.16
My mind wanders to the tender moments of our marriage
that filled my life with joy
and tears well up in my eyes.
I want to run from the room and sob, but I have to hold it in because
there is work to be done.
I close my eyes for a moment, hoping no one sees me struggling
and
wishing someone noticed the fragile state I’m in.
No, not here, not now.
I tuck my pain in a drawer of my mind and focus on the tasks at hand.
I immerse myself in the busy-ness of laboratory tests until
it’s time to go home.
The drive home begins quietly –
soft music playing on the radio,
sweltering heat making me more exhausted than I already am.
I’m haunted by the memories of
things that came before
and the
dreams that could have been.
What I pushed away before now leaks out, building momentum
with each passing second.
I am shaking with paroxysms of grief, trying to drive safely though I’m momentarily blinded by
stinging tears.
Wondering what was the point of giving up so much of me
in order to play house with you.
___
K.C. 7.20.15
as you lie beside me
dreaming
i lie awake
peacefully content
quietly aware
of your breath
tickling my skin
and your arms
around me.
i won’t question why
slumber
will not arrive.
i will not fight against
insomnia this night.
instead, i am grateful
for these precious moments
of conscious tranquility
of warming myself against you
and breathing you in
and remembering
the passion
we shared
and saying a blessing
for you
and for me.
you stir sometimes
and whisper so softly
“I love you“.
this wakefulness is
a treasured gift
tonight.
—
k.c. 3.10.15
You inspire me
to live in a world of
infinite
possibilities;
in a world of magic
and erotic dreamscapes
_____
k.c. 3.10.15
I can’t wait
until I have you
in my arms again.
Tear into me
Like I know
you need to.
Tear into me
Like you know
I need you to.
Sink your teeth
into my tender flesh
and mark me.
Growl in my ear
as you claim
what belongs to you
Remind me
who it is
I surrender to.
___
k.c. 3.7.15
Let me crawl into your lap
and lay my head down.
Please stroke my hair
and tell me a story
About a boy and a girl
who spent their lives
Unknowingly seeking the one
thing that could give them
Safe harbor in the
turbulent sea of life.
And tell me how in the middle of
an ordinary Spring day
She stumbled across what they didn’t know
they both needed.
She found the boy who could give her
courage and comfort and peace.
The boy who spoke Magic into being
with his lovely voice.
And he found the girl who could capture
his heart with strands of fine silk.
The girl who weaved Magic into being
with her lovely mind.
Hand in hand, heart in heart,
they weaved a story of Magic
together.
____
k.c. 2.25.15
I miss the tickle of your breath on my ear as you whisper my name
I miss the feel of your hands softly caressing my abdomen
I miss the scent of your skin when I nuzzle your neck
I miss the gaze of your eyes when you enter me
I miss the strength of your body when you move in me
I miss the rumble of your voice when you release into me
I miss you.
___
k.c. 2.26.15
My heart had been closed off and hiding out
entombed as it was in a world of words
and fragments of memories.
Guilt, shame and self-criticism
were relentless sentries,
letting no hope in.
I locked my heart to shield me
from further pain
and EVERYTHING else.
Most especially from the one thing
that can really heal –
I discovered in the presence of your
kind and steadfast friendship
the priceless gift of acceptance
without condemnation.
That was the key that fit the lock
and released me from the darkness
of my self-made prison.
__
K.C. 11.3.14
When I wasn’t even aware I was looking, you arrived in my life –
gently, slowly, like the crimson morning sun
peering over the horizon.
The darkness had been prolonged by my grief and
the months relentlessly marked by one tragic moment after
another.
My heart soon withered by cruelty, ignorance and harsh sentiment;
judged mercilessly in the court of my peers, I was sentenced to exile
from those I adored.
Banished to walk this earth like an apparition, seeing but unseen;
divorced from the solace and warmth of those
I once called friend.
Fractured in a thousand places, I wandered mutely onward;
fumbling my way around in the darkness, stumbling over the
stones which brought me to my knees.
Spilling out a lifetime of tears, I choked out my plea to the Universe:
Bring me back to Life, help me remember what it felt like
to love and be loved.
And the sun rose once again on me. I felt the first rays of your sunshine
through the playful words and animated gestures that accompanied
your elegant smile.
In the cold, damp places of my heart, you ignited the inner flame that
was extinguished by the countless misdeeds of others. I was sparked by the
incandescence of your soul.
What was once damaged beyond recognition, the sweet alchemy of our Love
gilded over the fractures of my soul, and repaired the seemingly
irreparable and made me whole again.
___________
K.C. 10.4.14
I viewed a fireworks display from the footbridge of my favorite park.
My inner kindergartener, overjoyed at the mesmerizing dance of color and pattern
grinned stupidly at one with a smiley-face design.
An “awww” escaped my lips.
Tendrils of gold and silver, glittering globes of scarlet, emerald and sapphire bejeweled the sky
When the sky grew quiet, I continued my stroll around the pond
and passed young lovers strolling arm-in-arm under the crescent moon.
Light reflected from the old-fashioned black street lamps around the path
and the illuminated fountains shimmered a pearlescent white in the water.
Music drifted from a nearby banquet hall where wedding guests danced in celebration.
This night was made for romance.
And I wished you were here.
____
K.C. 9.1.14
Lessons In Love and Madness 